- I Don't Want to Be A Stupid Girl
- February 5th, 2006
When my group of friends was at the brink of breaking up, I confronted Kayla and told her that saving our friendships was in her power, and that all she had to do was apologize and change how she treated her friends. She told me that she didn’t have to, and that eventually, if she sat back, they would come back to her like nothing had ever happened. She was right.
And I don’t understand. How does that happen? How can someone have that kind of power and how can people have such a lack of self-worth that they would come back to a friend who took them for granted time and time again? For me, I think I was thinking about the situation in a very black and white, almost “guy-like” fashion, which is if you have a problem with your friend you say something and deal with it. With the group of girls I’m in, it’s a completely different thing, because there’s a leader, and there’s the hive, and they just keep coming back to her, and fooling themselves, because they would rather be with her and mistreated than lonely.
What’s wrong with girls? Why do we do this to ourselves? I love my friends and at the same time I hate Kayla for how she plays people and I hate my friends for buying into it. Can you hate and love someone with her heart at the same time?
Meanwhile while all of this went down in January my grades took a dive from where they had been in December. I was suprised that my grades were so good in the fall, but I guess it was because I was happy. Afterall, this was the first year that I hadn't started the fall off by changing schools in awhile. So I was in a place I knew, making new friends, my old friends were cool, and there was no reason to not focus in school. But in January, socially everything fell apart, and so did my grades. I guess I really do put my happiness in other peoples' hands.