friends only...
blake & penny
angelicalwing

Birthday Entry: the big 1-9 for Kira
blake & penny
angelicalwing
I think it’s going to take me some time to be able to not say “Oh, I’m eight...NINEteen.” I guess it’s time to accomplish something this year. It does make me feel better that there are a lot of people younger than me on TV being played by people way older than me. Katie called me late last night to wish me Happy Birthday, I’ve gotten a ton of e-mails, my brother called which was actually a surprise, and my friends here are throwing me a party tonight. So I suppose life is pretty good, as long as I survive all the papers due this week before Christmas break. I’m excited to go home and see my family…well, just don’t tell them.

PS: I share a birthday with Judi Dench and Felicity Huffman.

Kira does Rome!
blake & penny
angelicalwing
I gradutaed on June 16th, hung out for a week where few things took place, and now I'm off to tour southern Italy for 10 days. I'll be back on the 11th with more things to share.

Measure of a friend
blake & penny
angelicalwing
Lately I’ve been mentally judging my friend Katie. The thing about Katie is that she’s always seemed kind of unhappy with herself, she sleeps all the time, she’s on antidepressants, she doesn’t seem to get a long with her family, and she’s started smoking all the time. At the end of this school year she started sleeping with this jerk who’s a bigot and a homophobe, and spread all these rumors about her. She broke up with him but then had sex with him again at a graduation party. I was just really disappointed in her.

Enter my friend Sheila who I hung out with at prom. I kind of liked hanging out with her this year because she was pretty prudish like me and I didn’t feel uncomfortable like when I hear Katie’s stories about sleeping with some jerk. Well I hung out with Sheila the whole prom since we both didn’t have dates, and she tells me she’s invited to this party and then doesn’t even ask if I could come or anything. I realized that as much as Katie may not respect herself, she’s always had respect for me as her friend and she would never do something like that to me. Katie’s always there for me and listens to my problems, and if she’s that good a friend it shouldn’t matter what kind of guys she hooks-up with or how much she smokes. Maybe I don’t agree with all her choices, but she’s there for me, and that’s how I should value my friends.

No Accent
blake & penny
angelicalwing
Your Linguistic Profile::
70% General American English
10% Dixie
10% Yankee
5% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern

Goodbye to Orange County
blake & penny
angelicalwing
So strange that The OC is over… every time I sat down to watch, it was like hanging with friends. Ryan, Marissa, Seth and Summer, I’ll remember them fondly, and not focus on how the show ended for me. Maybe it’s good that they didn’t do the whole college thing, to me they will remain immortally 17 and beautiful, which is how it should be with teenage characters, like Holden Caulfield, they will be forever young in my memory.

I feel like there’s a lot of room being made in my life, I hope there’s something good coming up that’s going to fill it.

And one last quote, from one of my favorite scenes -

Luke: Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off... go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.
Ryan: It doesn't work like that. It's been months and I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.
Marissa: And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.
Seth: And I'm still the... I'm still Seth Cohen.

See you in California someday,
-Kira

Marissa Cooper
blake & penny
angelicalwing
She died.
I'll miss her.
She made me brave.

It's hard to be in suspense
blake & penny
angelicalwing
I haven't posted in a while, but I've returned to my lj as things look bad.

There are a lot of rumors around the internet and on TV that Mischa Barton is leaving The OC and that her character Marissa Cooper will die on tonight’s finale. I’d pretty much be a wreck if that happens. In previous years there have been big fake-outs where the shows leaks bad information so that no one spoils The OC finales. This could be one of those times, but it may not be.

I’ve followed Marissa through three years, and she’s been by favorite character I’ve encountered in a long time, movie, TV, book, whatever. I’d be sobbing if she died but I don’t really know what I should say about her. I felt like I’ve lost so much of myself this year. I’ve pretty much quit reading comic books after the writers left New X-men and Karolina left Runaways, I’m leaving behind my town and all my friends this fall, and the thought of Marissa dying at her graduation … it makes me sick to my stomach.

I don’t think a lot of people like Marissa very much. She’s constantly depressed, she isolates herself, makes bad choices, she abuses substances, and displays her pain on her sleeve. But she’s almost like a friend to me, a constant, she followed me through schools, through rough times, and her depression was comforting. Her loneliness made me feel better. The OC is something I’ll really remember about high school, and Marissa is what stands out the most. I hope the rumors are a red herring, I’ll find out tonight.

Island in the Sun
blake & penny
angelicalwing
I don't know if I really deserve one, but I would really like a vacation. Tonight I thought how long this week had been, realized that it was only Monday, and realized that my weekend was being counted as part of my school week. I wish my family had the money to go to the beach for spring break, I really love the ocean.

I Don't Want to Be A Stupid Girl
blake & penny
angelicalwing
When my group of friends was at the brink of breaking up, I confronted Kayla and told her that saving our friendships was in her power, and that all she had to do was apologize and change how she treated her friends. She told me that she didn’t have to, and that eventually, if she sat back, they would come back to her like nothing had ever happened. She was right.

And I don’t understand. How does that happen? How can someone have that kind of power and how can people have such a lack of self-worth that they would come back to a friend who took them for granted time and time again? For me, I think I was thinking about the situation in a very black and white, almost “guy-like” fashion, which is if you have a problem with your friend you say something and deal with it. With the group of girls I’m in, it’s a completely different thing, because there’s a leader, and there’s the hive, and they just keep coming back to her, and fooling themselves, because they would rather be with her and mistreated than lonely.

What’s wrong with girls? Why do we do this to ourselves? I love my friends and at the same time I hate Kayla for how she plays people and I hate my friends for buying into it. Can you hate and love someone with her heart at the same time?

Meanwhile while all of this went down in January my grades took a dive from where they had been in December. I was suprised that my grades were so good in the fall, but I guess it was because I was happy. Afterall, this was the first year that I hadn't started the fall off by changing schools in awhile. So I was in a place I knew, making new friends, my old friends were cool, and there was no reason to not focus in school. But in January, socially everything fell apart, and so did my grades. I guess I really do put my happiness in other peoples' hands.

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